After going through a tough separation, it is temping to stay around your house, room or apartment all on your own and mope. While it is okay to be a little sluggish and messy throughout the grieving period (go here for more on that) of your separation, you need to be sure this conduct does not become a routine.

When you whole single life again after a long break, all of your practices and routines renew themselves. When you were with your ex, particularly when it was a long connection, you likely did things together everyday. Obviously, it can be very complicated to set up your own schedule again without any real support or direction.

Because of the taste factor and insufficient direction that a lot of individuals have after they get left, it is not that hard to belong to bad habits. More people have to realize that separations are an opportunity to remold yourself and get back on the right course. Here are some suggestions to get you started on the right foot again:

Solicit the support of your friends. You're obviously not going to be open about your tough time, but your friends can be quite a big aid in getting your life sorted out again. For example, because you probably spent nearly all of the weekend evenings together with your ex, you might not have much going on on Saturday and Friday times. This is where your good friends can help you out: they must be ready to sort you out with something fun to do, or at the least point you in the right way.

A word of warning though: try never to depend on the same number of friends every weekend for something to get done (until you're really close already). You run the risk of falling into a codependency routine like the one you had together with your ex (remember that 

Create a new social group. The best way to experience alive after a split up is to make some new pals and try something new. It's also an excellent way to ease back to the dating world again. If you're not very social or just do not know where to turn, then get online and locate some clubs or groups in your area that interest you. Common interests have a lot of the awkwardness and pressure out of meeting new people and making new friends.

Give it time. I know virtually every article concludes with this advice, however it needs to be repeated! Spirits and injuries devote some time to treat. It had been loved by me if everyone got over their separation in 1 day, however it takes many people a few months. Expect the best, but plan for the worst and you'll be back on the right track with a little help from your own friends in no time!
 

As a website owner in the relationship business, I get lots and plenty of messages from people who actually want to patch things up with their exes. I know, I promote a product that's made to do just that, but for lots of people getting back together isn't the best idea.  

It's natural to want to work things out together with your ex particularly when the breakup is new. I have been there myself many times! I believe the reason we try to stop the breakup is because we are afraid of change, even if we are in a poor relationship. So, before you make any try to make your ex take you back, sit down and evaluate why you are interested to happen. Below are a few thoughts to get your head working:  

Is it an enmeshed relationship?   This is a expression that counselors use to describe social relationships in which person depends completely on the other. If you can not operate without your spouse and you do everything together, then you are probably in an enmeshed relationship. They're not healthy for you personally in the long run.  

These kind of relationships are a bit distinctive from the buddy-buddy stuff happens when you are near someone. Think extreme and you are on the right track. For instance, if you literally don't have the courage, confidence or willpower to search for a restaurant, film or store without your ex, then it is an enmeshed relationship. You are completely influenced by the other person to do some ordinary task. Seem like it is worth getting back together? No!  

Was there any type of abuse in the relationship?   Abuse comes in numerous forms, but they are terrible. If it was physical, sexual, verbal or elsewhere, any type of abuse produces an unhealthy relationship and one which must simply stop. You are better off single. The difficult part is working with people have been in abusive relationships and convincing them that it is not their fault and their ex will not change. In these circumstances, I recommend people get some professional help.  

Have you been under 20 or is this one of your first breakups?   I get PLENTY of messages and weblog comments from middle, high school and college students. I do not know how to say this politely: 90% of the time, they are angry and stressing about something which has no long term implications because of their lives. In many cases, I would bet money that their ex boyfriend was not their'soulmate'and they will find someone else.  

The issue a lot of these young readers have is which they are completely overcome with these feelings which they have never had to handle before and they do not know what to do. I believe the solution for pretty much these is to really go through and read this post.  

You will find a few other times when I believe relationships aren't worth saving, like when someone was cheating or when you will find serious trust problems. Perhaps I will get into those in a later article, but I believe many people who email me for help fall under one of these catagories.

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